


Hidden

by AmericanCanada



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling, Depression, Kinda Romantic, kinda platonic, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 04:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10297274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmericanCanada/pseuds/AmericanCanada
Summary: The first time Yuuri had one of "those" days with Victor was back in Hasetsu.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a coping ficlet. It has major themes of depression. I am not diagnosed with depression, but this is based off of personal experiences. I may make a second chapter of the next morning, so let me know if you're interested! I hope you enjoy!

The first time Yuuri had one of "those" days with Victor was back in Hasetsu. 

He had missed the whole practice day. Victor had, of course, come looking for him, but when he had asked Yuuri what was wrong and gotten a simple, muttered "nothing" he had left him alone.

Yuuri knew that he had let Victor down. The competitive season had already started, so he should be working on his routines, and yet here he was, sitting on his bed, back against the wall, head between his knees, tears rolling down his face. 

When he heard the door open he froze. He held back his sobs and his tears. After what felt like forever, Yuuri simply waiting to see what whoever had entered his room would do, he heard the door close again.

Of course.

They had left him again. He should be used to this. When he had been younger, his family had found it easier to let him spend the day alone. He had never opened up about what he needed or how he felt. He loved them for respecting his privacy.

So why did it hurt so much? Yuuri knew why. 

He knew that many things about him had changed during his time in Detroit. This was one of them. Because unlike his family, Phichit never left him alone on one of these days. He would sit with him, sometimes he would talk despite knowing that the majority if the conversation would be one-sided, sometimes he would try and make him laugh, others he would simply hug him. But he would never just let Yuuri sit in their room by himself.

But Phichit wasn't here right now. And no one who was here knew that he felt he could no longer make it through this alone.

So he let out a choked sob, shoulders shaking and the tears coming harder then they had before.

Then, however, to Yuuri's surprise, the bed dipped to his left. He was shocked enough to look up, and he saw Victor sitting there, a soft smile on his lips. He didn't look sympathetic, he didn't look confused anymore either. He just looked calm, maybe a bit sad, and maybe a bit worried.

He didn't say anything at first. He just moved across the bed so he was against the wall as well, and he draped an arm around Yuuri's back, pulling him so that his head was on Victor's shoulder.

But then he started humming. Quiet, very quiet, but very there. It was a tune Yuuri recognized immediately as the lullaby his mother had made for him when he was little. He briefly wondered where Victor had learned it, but his mind was still in turmoil and wouldn't let him focus on it.

He was startled when Victor spoke, voice very soft with his accent more prominent than usual. "You know, I was kind of scared when I came in here."

Yuuri looked up at him to see that Victor's eyes were closed. He made a small noise of confusion, hoping that Victor would elaborate a little. Thankfully, he did so without further prompting. 

"You were sitting here, and I wasn't sure if you were okay yet or if you were still.... yea..." He trailed off. "But I came in and you were really stiff and I had heard your sobs through the door-" Oh. No no no! Yuuri tensed, pulling away slightly. Victor continued speaking though, unwavering. "-so when I entered and you were quiet I was confused. So I closed the door, because maybe you had wanted privacy. Was I right?" He sounded so unsure, and it was weird to Yuuri. But he was waiting an answer. And for once, Yuuri didn't find it too hard give him one. 

Even if it was only a nod.

"I had asked your parents what was happening, and they... they told me about your... um.." He was faltering.

"Depression? Anxiety?" Yuuri supplied, surprised at his own forwardness.

"Yeah. Those." Victor shifted a little, pulling Yuuri close again. "They told me that you usually liked to be alone on days like this. But I.... I couldn't just leave you, not when you looked so... sad. Hurt, may be a better word. Distraught. Or all of the above. So I called Phichit. I knew that you had spent a lot of time with him so I wondered if maybe he could help me, to help you." Yuuri felt himself smile, just a little bit. "He told me to never leave you alone, that your parents were wrong." 

Victor shifted now, pulling away from Yuuri in favour of sitting in front of him. He took Yuuri's hands in his own, his smile still as soft as when Yuuri had first looked up at him. He reached forward, very slowly as though he were afraid. He wiped away a tear, examining it before wiping it off on the bed. 

Then, he pulled Yuuri into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "I'll never leave you." He whispered again and again, as though it was his own mantra. It made fresh tears pour down Yuuri's face, and finally, he hugged back, sobbing into Victor's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry..." Yuuri mumbled. And he was. He had made Victor worry, a lot apparently, and he had done nothing to help ease him. And now Victor was here, hugging him, trying to reassure him, and still he was being too silent. Victor probably wanted him to say something, anything, let him know that he was fine. But he couldn't, he couldn't bring himself to lie to Victor.

"Shhh.." Victor ran a hand through Yuuri's black hair. "You have nothing to apologize for Yuuri. Absolutely nothing." Yuuri couldn't bring himself to fight with Victor about it, just pulling himself further into Victor's hold.

He has no idea how long they sat there. At some point Victor had pulled him into his lap, rubbing soothing circles into his back, and he began humming again. First the lullaby, then he transitioned into something else, something Yuuri couldn't recognize. After a few more songs, he drifted off to sleep. He had finally stopped crying, and the exhaustion had caught up with him.


End file.
